Widescreen

Mom, I thought you would really, really like this.

"The X-Files: I Want to Believe" opens July 25.

At the risk of sounding like I'm 92 instead of 29, they just don't make 'em like they used to.

The 20 minutes I saw of "Back to the Future" on HBO this morning made me long for the movie summers of old, when pesky things like comedy, ingenuity and characters kept getting in the way of all those visual effects. "BTTF," which began as an absolutely perfect screenplay by Bob Gale and director Robert Zemeckis, was joined that summer by "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure," "Weird Science," "The Goonies," "Cocoon" and "St. Elmo's Fire."

NOTE: As you may have noticed, I like to write about "Lost." I will never spoil anything in a headline or an opening paragraph, but beware of spoilers all the same anytime my favorite TV show happens to come up.

I am back from a weekend in Minneapolis, one of my favorite of all cities, where I visited friends, enjoyed a Premium Grain Belt or two (or 5 or 10), and finally bought that Johan Santana Twins jersey. (What? He doesn't play there anymore? Ah, whatever.)

Some things I learned while there:

I have no idea why a Hollywood studio would greenlight a $100 million-plus adaptation of an animated series that has a cult following at best. And I really have no idea why said studio would release said movie at a butt-numbing length of 135 minutes.

I always feel a little burst of excitement whenever a movie or TV show name-drops one of the Chicago suburbs; it's like finding out that, yes, famous people do know there's more to life than L.A. and NYC.

Wheaton is the latest regional town to earn this distinction, although in a rather dubious manner: The gunman who took Trauma 2 hostage on last Thursday's "ER" told Dr. Archie Gates (Scott Grimes) he was from the DuPage County bastion of sobriety.

Thursday, I asked where I could find the best theater in the suburbs. Saturday, I found my answer.

The Muvico 18 in Rosemont is quite the facility. Aside from the plush seats, the perfect sound system and the Sony HD projectors that every single auditorium boasts, this veritable palace can guarantee you won't be bothered by screaming children -- for a price, of course.

The summer movie season begins tonight as "Iron Man" rockets across the big screen beginning at 8 p.m. Thanks to my rear driver's-side wheel coming off of my car -- and me locking my keys inside when the tow truck came -- I won't be able to see it until Saturday, I'm guessing, which gives me time to ponder where I should see it.

Ten summers ago, everyone in the Northwest suburbs knew exactly where to go when a big movie came out: Woodfield 1&2.

The destruction of the American child apparently continued this week with Miley Cyrus's Vanity Fair photo shoot, an admittedly strange portfolio from Photographer to the Stars Annie Leibowitz that shows the erstwhile "Hannah Montana" with a bare back, covered only in a bed sheet. Oh, the outrage. You mean to say an underage starlet from the Disney stable has been made to look sexy? My word, this has never happened before! (Oh, wait; let us not forget 17-year-old Britney Spears in the "Baby One More Time" video, and its ensuing Rolling Stone spread. You know, the one that had everyone saying little Britney already had breast implants.)

The biggest blockbuster of the year is here, and it's only April 29.

"Grand Theft Auto IV," the new installment in Jack Thompson's favorite series of video games, is now wreaking havoc on America's PS3s and Xbox 360s. According to a Reuters story today, "GTA IV" is "expected to be the biggest entertainment event of the year," which must come as a shock to anyone named Spielberg, Lucas or Rowling. Industry watchers say the game could rack up $400 million in sales in the first week, which is way more money than Indiana Jones should expect to whip up this summer (well, in North America, anyways).

My two earliest memories are almost like a blueprint for my entire life.

In my mind, life began in 1981 at the Twin Drive-In in Wheeling, where my parents took their 2-year-old son for what would be the first of many viewings of "Raiders of the Lost Ark." I vividly remember watching the nefarious Nazis' faces melting through the windshield of the maroon Plymouth Duster that would serve us well until the floods of 1987. To this day, whenever I think of "Raiders" (which is often lately, given what comes to theaters May 22), I think of Toht's glasses dropping to the ground as his face drips away.