No, I am not Danny Gokey

I guess I look fairly Gokey-ish
in this pic.

I've had to say that a lot in the past few months. It began in Minneapolis in April, when a middle-aged woman came up behind me while I was sitting at the bar in Brit's Pub. She put her arm around me and said, "Sing for me, Danny." Who's Danny? "Danny from 'American Idol'!" That's when I realized why a teenaged girl was staring and pointing at me in O'Hare earlier that day.

When I had long hair and often wore a backwards baseball cap and an oversized coat, people called me Silent Bob. When I chopped that hair off and got a swanky 'do at Mario Tricoci, they called me Ben Affleck. You have your peaks and valleys, I guess.

Born in 1980, Danny Gokey says his favorite artists are Michael Jackson and Lauryn Hill. Born in 1979, Sean Stangland says his favorite artists are Metallica and John Williams. Danny says "music is a universal language that has touched my heart," and delivered renditions of "You Are So Beautiful" and "P.Y.T." on this past season of "Idol." I say music is best enjoyed at nuclear volume, and can deliver spirited versions of "Flagpole Sitta" and "Jeremy" on karaoke night. What Danny and I do share these days are barely-there beards, spiky hair and nerdy glasses, which I guess is enough for people to think we're one and the same. Personally, I don't see it; he's got some style, but I usually wear Hawaiian shirts and baseball jerseys. (No, not at the same time.)

I was, in fact, wearing my A.J. Pierzynski jersey Friday night at U.S. Cellular Field when an entire girls softball team wound up taking pictures with me. (My face was bright red, no doubt.) One even asked for proof that I was not the erstwhile Mr. Gokey. My friend Jim was no help; he was having too much fun egging the girls on. "Sure, he's Danny! Why don't you take another picture?!"

By the end of the game, most of Section 161 was looking back in my direction, trying to figure out what's up with that creepy old dude taking pictures with 12-year-old girls. In my defense, I was first approached by one of the girls' fathers to pose for a picture; it got out of hand from there. Jim and I decided to leave our seats when someone behind us yelled, "HEY! SOMEBODY ARREST THAT GUY!" Later, on the concourse, I ran into one of the parents, who helpfully suggested I "milk this Gokey thing for all it's worth." Yes, hopefully with women who are my age, and not young girls like your daughter, sir.

Way back in the day, when I went to Wheeling High School, people would mistake me for someone named Nick Katsenios, who went to MacArthur Junior High with many of my WHS classmates. I have never met this elusive Mr. Katsenios. If you're out there, Nick, tell me: Do you look like Danny Gokey too? If so, maybe we should go into business together and do some personal appearances; we could all use an extra buck these days.