#TeamTaylor all the way

Oh, Kanye West.

What can I say about the behavior of one of Chicago's former favorite sons last night at the MTV Video Music Awards that hasn't already been said? Very little, I'm afraid. But I can point out just how ridiculous the premise of his "argument," as it were, appears to be.

So Kanye's upset that Taylor Swift's video for "You Belong With Me" won the best female video award over Beyonce's "Single Ladies." Kanye says Beyonce's video was "one of the best videos of all time." He is apparently outraged that any video could be considered better than Beyonce's.

But here's the thing, Kanye: That award means nothing. Aside from the technical awards in categories like cinematography and art direction, does anyone really think these awards are handed out for actual merit? I can find nothing online telling me who actually votes for these awards, so I am left to assume that MTV's top executives decide who will win the big awards based on how many different demographics they can please, how many big names they can get in the building, and how many performances they can pair with a given category.

I can guarantee you that Beyonce knew she was winning video of the year before she woke up Sunday morning. (Never mind that she won the award for the same video that lost to Taylor Swift at the top of the program.) I can further guarantee you that her "spontaneous" display of class at the show's conclusion was totally calculated by her and the show's producers.

But just to be clear, I am not insinuating that the entire incident was staged. Why in the world would Kanye West want to become the most hated man in the Twitterverse? And why would Taylor Swift agree to be humiliated like that? (When I finally saw the full clip, I felt even worse for Swift. I think she might have thought the crowd was booing her when Kanye stormed off the stage.)

Now though I said the actual awards mean nothing, this opportunity means a whole lot to Taylor Swift. She is a pop-country artist winning the first award on a telecast that caters to hip-hop and teen pop listeners. This was her coming-out party for a giant segment of MTV's audience, and I'm sure it was a thrill for a 19-year-old who is relatively new to the business to win an award that was made iconic by the likes of Michael Jackson, Madonna and Guns N' Roses.

Lost in all of this is the truly shocking fact that the actual VMA show was good last night. When's the last time you could say that? Swift herself delivered a performance that I found to be better than any video that was "honored" all night. It began with a pre-taped scene of Swift performing "You Belong With Me" in an NYC subway station. She then boards a train full of people singing and dancing along, then departs at Radio City Music Hall, where she performed live outside the venue. It was a perfectly directed piece of pop.

The inevitable Michael Jackson tribute that opened the show was cool, even if one of the dancers nearly fell over while doing "the lean" from "Smooth Criminal." Seeing Janet do her brother's moves from the "Scream" video was thrilling.

But the star of the night must be Lady Gaga, who continues to unapologetically fly her freak flag. She rocked four different crazy costumes, took host Russell Brand's hermaphrodite jokes in stride, and held nothing back in her theatrical performance of "Paparazzi," which ended with her bloodied body suspended above the stage. But perhaps the coolest thing she did was to bring Kermit the Frog to the show as her "date," a response to that ridiculous Kermit outfit she wore a few months ago. (And the "date" also demonstrates that Disney can be cool, too; surely the suits had to approve such a strange use of one of their precious licensed properties.)

The big winner, of course, is MTV, which is enjoying a whole lot of press today. And it will stay in the news cycle for another 36 hours, at least; Kanye West is scheduled to perform with Beyonce's husband tonight on the first episode of "The Jay Leno Show."

Wait a minute ... maybe Jay Leno orchestrated this whole thing! DAMN YOU, LENO!